Days, I stop existing

You know those days of misery where I think of being unborn,

Not treading across the paths and words I have till today,

But that’s not how it’s meant to be,

I was supposed to be born.

 

Now I am here,

And my life is in shambles,

I’ve lost a love and aged in my memories,

I cripple past the present days,

Picking myself up,

Wondering how my mind had wandered a thousand years from the last time I felt joy.

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Soaking friendship

Remember when I was roaming the streets of London in late hours of the night and your text would pop up on my old blackberry phone?

I’d sift through all the messages and decide to reply to it later when I reached my warm room and single bed. I’d flaunt to the world how you were my best friend. I’d complain and rant in our conversations about how the world should revolve around you.

I thought we were such fun friends. Things were so exciting and easy.

I’d receive your messages when you were high on smoking God knows what. I was usually at the library during those rainy nights trying to read for an essay. The distance of our friendship didn’t cease your uninterrupted demeanour which was so intensely beautiful.

When you laughed while we were texting, I can recreate a visual image of how perfect you must have looked.

But now I don’t soak in rainy nights, instead I’m drenched in my own tears and the reality of heartbreak.

You spin me around, let me go.

I can hear life hiss at me,

I protest when you don’t believe me,

 

Listen closely,

But wait now don’t you see?

 

The clouds are covering each inch of gloom and misery,

Your claims of forever after and mine of infinity.

They dissolve beneath the ground,

I’m tired of going in circles round and round.

 

Why do you spin me when you said we would lie down,

Now I’m tired and you’re lying on the floor,

It’s my turn to lie down and sleep.

Now you spin around.