Entrenched in everything that feels good is fear,
It burns like a scalding pot full of poison,
Where people await your presence to spit their venom,
Steer clear and far away from them.
Do you see my flaws now?
Does it give you inner peace to know I’m human?
Or will you still pull out another strand of my confidence?
Just to make me feel less perfect?
I never held my head low,
But now it’s sinking,
Straight through the ground,
Into my grave.
I suppose that’s when I will be perfectly aligned.
I could have been faster,
I could have been wiser,
I could have been someone else instead of myself,
I strove for speed and intelligence,
But for what?
Just to reach there a little earlier,
Just know know a little more,
And in that race I lost myself,
What no one tells you in this race is,
It’s much harder to find yourself back again,
But when you do.
There is calm.
You know those days of misery where I think of being unborn,
Not treading across the paths and words I have till today,
But that’s not how it’s meant to be,
I was supposed to be born.
Now I am here,
And my life is in shambles,
I’ve lost a love and aged in my memories,
I cripple past the present days,
Picking myself up,
Wondering how my mind had wandered a thousand years from the last time I felt joy.
I can hear life hiss at me,
I protest when you don’t believe me,
But wait now don’t you see?
The clouds are covering each inch of gloom and misery,
Your claims of forever after and mine of infinity.
They dissolve beneath the ground,
I’m tired of going in circles round and round.
Why do you spin me when you said we would lie down,
Now I’m tired and you’re lying on the floor,
It’s my turn to lie down and sleep.
Now you spin around.